"I was just a young lad of 7 years at the time of the ghastly incident, not old enough to understand, nor young enough to ever forget. Me, my mom, and my dad just moved into an apartment in Edison, NJ. Everything was going great, enjoying a simple life with my parents, learning and doing everything a 7-year-old kid would do. That morning started out like any other morning, just laying in bed and talking to each other, making a few jokes. However, there was a part of me that told her not to go into work that morning, sensing something was not right. Her response to that was she didn’t feel going to work that day either but she had an important meeting to attend and she left a few minutes earlier that morning, to come back home by lunchtime. She quickly got ready, kissed me on the cheek, and left the house like usual, after saying goodbye. People never actually think a few minutes can make a difference in a person’s life. However in this case, it was literally one minute that changed my mom’s life and turned my life upside down in mere seconds. If only she arrived at the station 60 seconds later, she would have missed her train, and thereby missed her death."
That was Amish Sattaluri’s recollection of 9/11/2001 the day the Twin Towers were brought down in New York City in the deadliest terrorist attack in U.S history. At the young age of 7, Amish’s life entered a stage of darkness that most of us wouldn’t even wish upon even our worst enemies. Loosing his mom in the way that he did, at the age that he did instantly created a dark and lonely childhood for the then young boy who had just moved to America.
After 9/11, I stopped eating for almost a month and lost a lot of weight. It was difficult since I just moved to America and didn't even start school yet. My first birthday without my mom was a very low point. It affected my schooling and my lack of interest in education almost immediately. Shifting from Edison to Plainsboro was also difficult. There was a lot of bullying involved, from teachers to students."
His pain started at a young age and somehow just never left him as his life progressed. It became more than just living without a mom. It was the stress of understanding how that day could have happened. It was the agony of analyzing endless what-if scenarios in his head. It was finding a way to deal with horrific images of what it must have been like in her last few minutes. 9/11 was more than just losing a mom, it was an utter and dark shadow that followed Amish wherever he went.
As Amish grew into a young adult, the darkness only got worse. The smarter and wiser he got the more he had to think about. Amish, desperate for a way out, began drinking and drinking heavily. He smoked cigarettes and dwelled in marijuana usage as well. These choices were all means of creating short term brightness in his otherwise dark life. When drinking, smoking or doing drugs, Amish was able to forcefully alter his state of mind in hopes of entering a different and better state. But as with most things in life, short term solutions yield longer term pain, and this was true for Amish as well.
His alcoholism and drug usage led him to an even unhealthier lifestyle, both physically and mentally. He put on an unhealthy amount of weight, made bad life choices such as drinking and driving, and struggled to keep the few close friends he had. Though he was aware of all this, he had a hard time making changes in his life. For one because there didn’t seem to be a point. His life practically started in darkness, what would change now? His mind had entered what I like to call a for-loop of darkness. Darkness starts the loop which results in self-actions that causes one to be more upset which themselves and only furthers the darkness. This continues in a cycle that seems unbreakable. Pretty scary.
"The addiction to alcohol started in college. I never had a drink till I was 18, I was actually against it. Once I drank, I became numb to the pain of the loss, as well as the bullying. It started off innocently enough, but once I moved back to Plainsboro, it got bad. There were times I was able to manage it but after my motorcycle accident and leaving Amazon in March 2018, I started drinking heavily and lost most of my money on alcohol."
Just like in an endless for-loop in a piece of code, there is always a way to get out. The “escape key” so to speak of life. Amish didn’t know it at the time, but his introduction to Yes Theory, a social group that encourages people to say “yes” to new experiences, changed his life. He began travelling and booked trips to New Zealand and Iceland. On these trips he made friends in a way he was never able to do for most of his life. He began interacting with the Yes Theory Facebook group and shared his story. Slowly strangers from the around the world encouraged him to try things he had never dared to dream of before.
Amish was 24 when these life changes began to happen, almost 17 years later from the infamous day. 17 years; Think about that. For 17 years Amish was in a for-loop of darkness because of 60 seconds. But yet, despite all this, he managed to find the escape key. In his case it came in the simple form of a short Youtube add (for Yes Theory).
"In 2018, after I broke my back and quit my job, I was laying in bed depressed, when I saw a YouTube video recommendation from the channel Yes Theory. I tried to ignore it because the title sounded like click bait, as many titles and videos are. I finally watched one video and at the end of 15 minutes, I was smiling and crying, but still not 100% convinced. I watched a few more and in a matter of 1 hour, I was completely hooked. I watched every single video within 1 week. Their message was simple, say yes and seek discomfort. Since then, I have found a page on Facebook that is filled with Yes Fam members all around the world. There is over 130,000 members and it is growing at more than 1500 new members a week. There are many friends I have made through the community, who are there to inspire, vent, and help people in need. I have been to several meetups, making new friends that would have not been possible."
I knew Amish’s story was powerful and important to share when I heard it, but I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly. When he mentioned a simple Youtube video changing his life however, I realized the magnitude of what his story was about. At age 7 his life changed dramatically because of 60 seconds. A mere 60 seconds threw his entire life off course for the next 17 years. And then, in an almost equally short amount of time, he was able to find some light after almost two decades of darkness. Just take some time to think about that. Two extremely short and unexpected events altered so much of Amish’s life. One brought darkness the other brought happiness.
Amish’s story shows us just how fragile life can be. The smallest of choices can change an entire life plan. We can have it all in control; Perfect family, solid finances, and an excellent job, and 60 seconds can change everything. As important as planning in life is we must all remember that a plan is just a plan. You can never bank on anything in life. Forgetting to turn off your stove, skipping an innocent doctors appointment, or yes even failing to be late to work (by 60 seconds) can alter even the most perfect of plans. Amish a 7 year old boy who wasn’t even old enough to have plans, was impacted forever by the smallest of bad breaks.
This should not scare us however but instead remind us to not solely live in our plans. Have a plan, work on it, give it your all, but don’t ever forget how fragile life is. Living a plan is like walking a tight rope. It takes perfect, balance, perfect skill and perfect luck for it to work to perfection. You will deviate off course because the perfect game plan just does not exist. Some of us may fall lightly others may fall hard but Amish’s story shows us that there is always a way up. Unlike a fragile plate, life does not permanently break when dropped. In fact, it can be picked up and remade even nicer than originally planned. This is what Amish’s story is all about. The bad parts of life can be fragile but so can the good parts. As small of a mistake, incident, or piece of bad luck it takes to throw life into shambles, there is always an equally small moment just waiting for us to bring life back together. 60 Seconds changed his entire childhood and a few short videos may have changed an entire adulthood for Amish.
For those of you that are at a point in life where things seem hopeless, dark, or unexciting, Amish’s story is living proof that the smallest of light beams can help illuminate any amount of darkness. There always is an escape key. It may not come from within, it may take years of patience or years in a for-loop, but somewhere somehow an escape key awaits. And when that escape key is hit, you come into life with a perspective not many people ever have.
I can say first hand after meeting Amish that he is different than so many people I have ever met before. He greets everyone he sees, he asks how you are doing (and genuinely wants to know how you are doing). He goes out of his way to commit small acts of kindness. In fact, while sitting with him at a McDonald’s I saw him sprint out of his chair to go and pick up a lady’s bag that he saw had fallen half way across the room. The man just has a unique and impressive outlook on life. It is refreshing to see.
Amish, who lost the love and guidance of a mom, became a man that he was not proud of. After 17 years of darkness and regret however, he is now a man that his mom would be proud to call her son. Darkness came after 9/11 but a corresponding future light shed on Amish years later. All may have seemed hopeless during his childhood but he now is a man with good qualities that very few have. He is a man with understanding of life that very few have. Yes some pain and darkness still exists, but Amish is on his way to rebuilding himself to a better and stronger version of himself.
Life is fragile. You will fall and it may not even be your fault. Always remember however, that something good will come out of it and you can always pick up the pieces no matter how shattered they may seem. If a small thing can break you a small thing can lift you right back up. 60 seconds turned Amish life dark but a few minutes brought some light back into it. Let us learn from Amish to just keep on moving forward with life even when things are bad. You just never know where a light will shine and where life will guide you to next.
"My advice to anyone who will listen, is be happy for the simple things in life. Good music, family time, the sound of rain, friendships. Always be kind and try to listen to people more. A lot of people are afraid to open up about personal struggles. It's not healthy to keep everything bottled up. Say yes to new adventures, forgive people that may have wronged you, apologize to people you may have wronged, travel and make new friends, learn new cultures. You never know when someone's time may come, don't take that for granted."
We can learn so much through each other’s stories of overcoming. Keep up the good work brother!
Thanks Man appreciate it!