I like to tell my friends that who you are is determined by the type of person you would be if dropped off on a random island, with nothing that you currently own or claim. What do I mean by this? Well, we all have “stuff” that makes up our lives: jobs, cars, houses, money, family, significant others and much more. Having these things gives us a sense of purpose, importance, and meaning. But what happens if we lose one of these things? If our job is our importance or if our charity is our calling, what happens if we get fired, or lose the means to donate? Are we no longer the same person that people once knew?
It is an interesting question that all revolves around values. Values are the “behind the scenes” (so to speak) of human actions. Our individual actions and corresponding results are what most people see and use to asses our lives. One may argue, however, that values are what truly define us as an individual. The things we accomplish in our lives go on to have their corresponding consequences, but our values and character are the true legacies we leave of our own name.
Rajesh Kothary is a name that is synonymous with class, character and values.
Rajesh Kothary
Rajesh was born in Nakuru Kenya where he grew up with his five brothers and one sister. As a young adult, Rajesh had a strong passion for sports and in particular, cricket. As he grew older, he became one of Kenya’s star cricketers and was well known by many for his talents and sportsmanship on and off the field. Though he had built a solid life and cricket career in his home town, he decided to give it all up and move to the U.S. with his wife for a better future for his three kids.
In the U.S., he reunited with his five brothers who had all moved for the same reason. After settling down in the state of Maryland, Rajesh put his engineering degree to use and got a job in the engineering field. He slowly progressed up the corporate world and spent the last 15 years as a highly regarded sales engineer.
When he was not working, Rajesh spent a lot of his time enjoying with the Kothary family that he so dearly loved. Family was his passion and no personal hobbies or goals ever came before family. During his spare time, however, he also liked singing, watching movies, feeding the birds, trying new foods and of courses watching sports (cricket in particular).
Life was good for Rajesh and his family, yet his life was not something you would see featured on MTV or E-News. To an outsider, Rajesh’s life may sound ordinary and average. So why, you might ask, am I writing this post?
Well, what made Rajesh truly special weren’t all the things he had accumulated in his life, be it, his job, cars, house, cricket records, hobbies, or job titles. What made Rajesh one of the most beloved men in his community was his consistency towards his values. Rajesh Kothary or as I knew him, Rajesh Kaka (Rajesh uncle) was one of the few people I have ever met who lived by his values every single day. I had the pleasure of knowing him for over 20 years of my life and he always was the same man during that stretch. Through his entire life’s journey, Rajesh always held onto what mattered to him the most…his values. Though there were many, he had three values that most people would say were the ones that he lived by each day.
1. Family
Family was everything to Rajesh and he valued it with all his heart. Whether it be taking a day off to help a sister in law fix her car, or staying up all night, on a working day, to greet his newborn nephew, Rajesh appreciated and respected every single family member. He spent endless amounts of his time creating games and events to help bring the Kothary family as close together as a family could possibly be. He succeeded.
2. Living Life to the Fullest
Rajesh was a big believer in embracing the day. Though he was not immune to sad/dull days, he ultimately always seemed to find a silver lining in any situation. Injured during a car accident and unable to eat solid foods for a few months? Rajesh was smiling. Broke his hand before his wedding? Rajesh was smiling. For him, these were minimal things that were not worth ruining his bigger joys such as spending time with his loving family. Rajesh was always smiling and looking to make the most out of any situation.
3. Spreading Joy
It wasn’t enough for Rajesh to just be happy himself. He felt truly grateful for whatever he had and always looked to lend a hand. He believed in sharing his resources and lent his time, money and personal belongings to anyone that could use them. He shared his wealth with his Kenyan community by being an active donor to Uplift a Child, an organization that supports kids in Africa. He lent his only car to his sister in law so that she could get to and from work on a daily basis. The man never felt that something was his and only his, and thus he always gave what he could to those who needed it.
These were his three main values and these were the things he carried day in and day out. What amazed people the most about Rajesh was the sheer consistency of his character. Whether he was sick, injured, tired, or going through life struggles he always was the same man and committed all his acts with the above three values. Those who knew him from Kenya and those that knew him from America almost had identical things to say about him. Those that met him as coworkers and those that met him as friends recounted eerily similar stories of him. Hence, Rajesh was who he was even if dropped off on a random island with nothing that he currently owned or claimed. He was always the same at his core.
It never mattered to Rajesh where he was, who he was with, or what he was going through; He did everything from his heart, with his heart’s values. For a while, I thought it was his specific values alone that we all could learn from. But to some sense I was wrong. It wasn’t just the values he lived by but the fact that he truly lived by them…all the time. Everyone has different values and that’s okay. What really is important, however, is that we do things genuinely with our values in mind. If we only live our values when it is easy, or convenient, then we rid ourselves of true identity and character.
Rajesh, unfortunately, passed away suddenly at the young age of 61. His death shook many (including myself) to the core as people had a hard time believing such a joyful and pleasant man was no more. But upon listening to hundreds of stories, speeches, and conversations about Rajesh, it was amazing to see just how consistent he really was. Everyone knew about his family because he wore it on his sleeve. Everyone talked about his infectious smile and joy for life. And every single person had a minimum of one story where he went out of his way to help them and be it, for no recognition at all.
During his funeral, the funeral home was packed with people. People from all over the world flew in to pay their respects. But this was not the amazing part of Rajesh’s farewell. What truly was, was the fact that the entire room had one identical image and identity that they associated with the name Rajesh Kothary. Everyone knew who he was and what he stood for, and there was no question or debate to it. Casual acquaintances seemed to understand him as well as long-time family members or friends. That is rare. That is special.
Who you are is determined by the type of person you would be if dropped off on a random island with nothing that you currently own or claim. Rajesh’s life story is an incredible example of a man that was the same no matter where he was in life. His cricket fraternity in Kenya raved about his joy and kindness, while his co-workers in Maryland did just exactly the same. His siblings raved about his love for his family while his neighbors and community members did exactly the same. Whether you caught Rajesh during his young adult cricket stardom days or his struggles during his move to America; whether you caught Rajesh at a family gathering or at a water cooler talk in the office; Whether you caught Rajesh during his lowest of lows or his times of complete life success, Rajesh Kothary was the same man.
Though he is no longer with us, he leaves behind his values and identity to his name. Every person who ever got the privilege of meeting Rajesh has a clear and distinct image of who exactly he was. Rajesh was able to create a name like this for himself because Rajesh was always genuine Rajesh. There was no debate, no question, and no confusion as to what his character was. Because of this, the world now has one view, one idea, one perspective of the man that they carry in their hearts and minds. The name Rajesh Kothary forever has a true and genuine identity that can never be taken away from him.
R.I.P Rajesh Kaka
Very profound and touching account of Rajesh Kaka Nishil. Thank you for putting in words what we all feel about Rajesh. He indeed was a unique individual. All we have is memories. We are helpless in matters of life and death. I am glad you are determined to keep his values alive. You will have plenty of time to contemplate as you travel. Trvel broadens our minds and prepares us to face the many challenges life throws at us. Wishing you every success in your journeys. May Lord Mahaveer look after you.
Nishil,
WOW!! I had tears in my eyes while reading this. But, found joy in everything that you expressed SO eloquently and right from the heart❤️. (Loved the selected pics!!).
We should be thankful that so many of us got the privilege to know such a person during our lifetime.
Let’s try and live up to his values!
He will be dearly missed, but memories will last forever.
🙏🏻 RIP🙏🏻
🙏🏻 RIP Rajeshbhai”🙏🏻
So well written Nishil.He was the person you have discribed. He is going to be missed a lot. May he find peace at the lotus feet of almighty. On shanti
Nishil,
A true story very well put in words, though words are never enough for Rajesh bhai,
He was an amazing person with always a smile on his face.
I remember an instance where i told him I’m too stressed with my work, for which he replied : never take stress and always look at things positively.
He was a very positive man.
We will all miss him a lot.
God Bless his Soul
RIP Rajesh bhai.
Vinay
I have never had an opportunity to meet him, but after reading his life story I am inspired many ways but most importantly the value of family.
May his soul Rest In Peace
Om Shanti
So well written Nishil, he was a true legend of the Kothary family!🙏
Very well written Nishil. Yes Rajesh was the heart & soul of the Kothary clan and will be dearly missed. Still can’t forget the smile and his laughter and we will always cherish the fond memories of him whilst growing up together in Kenya.
Mayur Parekh
Nishil- you have captured how we have felt about Rajesh and his selfless acts of love and compassion during his short life span. I feel blessed that god sent such a nice soul into our lives. He will be missed but the values by which he lived each day is an inspiration to us all. He is in a better place.
Good luck with your endeavors to enrich the lives of the less fortunate people in the world.
You ihave very well depicted the true character of Rajeshbhai. I had profound memories of him in Kenya as we used to meet him alot as his children came to Shishukunj and also he came to see his late parents who were our neighbours. He truly had great values and had a very positive aura. He has left a get legacy and we all hope to learn from his values. He lived his life to the fullest!
Late Rajesh Kothari was a fine cricketer and above all a fine sportsman. He touched the hearts of many cricketers in Kenya including mine when he played for my invitational cricket team to Kisumu.. He proved to be a fine cricketing ambassador and was indeed very kind with good sense of humour. He is sadly and dearly missed. Subhash Modi Nairobi Kenya
As a journalist I had covered his cricket exploits many times. Four siblings playing for one team was unique.
I played against Rajesh’s team Regularly.
He was a humble human being.
RIP.
Came across this article by Nishil while I was searching for the whereabout and well being of old friends this morning. Shocked and saddened by the fact that I have now lost a very good friend. Nishil does not mention that Rajesh was in Glasgow (University of StrathClyde) in the 1980s.. This is where we first became neighbours whilst staying in the university halls of residence and then very good friends. His personality, warmth and friendliness was exactly as Nishil has outlined.
I would very much like to get in touch with any of Rajesh’s family member. My email address is neosys@ntlworld.com.
Rajnikant,
I am sorry you had to hear about the loss of your friend in this way. He was an incredible man with amazing character. I have forwarded your email to his immediate family (wife and kids). They will reach out to you.
Best wishes
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