Getting to meet the Vietnamese people was one of the highlights of my entire life. I quit my job to backpack across South East Asia and getting the time that I did with the local people of Vietnam was life-changing enough to justify this entire experience. These people blew my mind and the more time I spent with them, the more I could feel myself changing. As much as I loved the backpacking social life, I found myself slowly passing on hostel happy hours, bar crawls and social gatherings, in favor of local interactions. I became obsessed with spending as much time with the Vietnamese as possible and learning from their way of life.
After about a month in the country, I tried to make sense of what made these people so incredible. Here are three of the common characteristics I found among most people:
You Come First
I thought about it for a while but the one thing that stuck with me in regards to the people of Vietnam was their “You come first” attitude. I’m not kidding when I say almost every individual I came across went out of their way to somehow put me first. Whether it was people in the hospitality industry, local farmers, or ethnic minority villagers, people found a way to make me a priority in their lives.
To me, this act of kindness was special because of how little these people have for themselves. Many work tireless hours to keep them and their families alive, yet they always seemed to have time for others. I thought about this a lot and realized how poor of an “I don’t have time” excuse is in our lives. Some of us have plenty of comforts and safety nets yet we still find a way to not have time for those around us.
After talking to a local farmer for about 30 minutes, I asked a tour guide if farmers get upset when tourists come, take pictures of them, or ask them questions as I had just done. In my mind I know I would be furious if I lost 30 minutes of my day to a stranger when I was trying to put food on the table for my family. The guide told me however that the farmers don’t mind at all; In fact, they appreciate your curiosity and interest in them and their work. After he told me this, I immediately thought about all the times I had viewed a person as an obstacle in my day. All the times I dreaded having to go meet someone because I was busy, or the times I got frustrated because a stranger was making me late to work. I’m not the only one who has felt these things either. But after seeing the Vietnamese people and their appreciation for everyone, I vowed to work on living a life where people are NEVER on the back burner.
If a man trying to feed his family has time for a total stranger like me, I think we all can sacrifice a bit more of our time and dreams for our families, friends, and even strangers. Life, when you think about it, really wouldn’t be the same without people. None of your accomplishments, dreams or wealth would feel real without people to share and enjoy it with. If there is one thing we can all learn from the Vietnamese people it is to treat each person with the priority they deserve simply for being a human being. After observing the people of this country for a month I promise you when I say, we all have the time for those around us, it’s just a matter of how important you want to make them.
Say Cheese
Vietnamese people are always smiling and laughing. It’s honestly a refreshing sight to see. Sometimes we forget the power a smile has. It’s cheesy (no pun intended) but a lot of us just forget to smile and be happy. I loved living in the city of New York but one of my main dislikes of the city life was how serious most people tended to be. I met countless people who always felt as if their next task was the single most important thing in the world. The stress and anxiety they created for themselves with this kind of attitude resulted in constant agitation, anger or sadness. I’m not here to ridicule your life and it’s importance but I will tell you that most things can be done with smile and joy.
Trust me when I say I have heard some heartbreaking saddening stories of the Vietnamese and their lives. Friends killed by unexploded land mines, babies being born with brain defects due to agent orange, poverty affecting the ability of workers to get a university degree. People with these kinds of experiences have still found ways to smile amidst their otherwise challenging life. You don’t always have to be a happy person, this is unreasonable and not always realistic. That being said, most of us don’t smile and laugh enough. Enjoy your journey and path and do it with a smile and your life will improve for the better.
Keep it Simple Stupid
I took a bus to the city of Ninh Binh located in the northern part of Vietnam. My bus arrived at 5 am and it, unfortunately, began to pour as soon as I got off. I proceeded to walk one mile to my hostel feeling miserable and wet. Along the walk, I saw something interesting out on this rainy morning. As I complained about how icky i felt, I saw local men and women knee-deep in water fishing and picking crops. It was an image I could never get out of my head for the rest of my trip. I had seen farmers and fishermen working throughout my trip but seeing them at this time of day in this weather was an eye-opener. I realized right then and there, off days did not exist for most workers in this country. Rain or shine, morning or night, the workers of Vietnam were going to do the same thing day in and day out.
It got me wondering, how do people stay happy with this kind of life? I for one am always someone that preaches change to keep things exciting and interesting. I am also one, as are most Americans, who eagerly wait for their retirement day. This concept of being happy and living a hard and repetitive working life similar to the Vietnamese farmers didn’t seem to be possible.
I was curious as to how they stay happy so I began asking around. Almost every person I asked had the same response. They all seemed to focus on the simple pleasures of life. It reminded me of the teachings a Buddhist Monk would preach to us during my Vipassana Meditation retreat. “Having the ability to enjoy what you have within yourself, is the key to happiness” he would say. The people of Vietnam were living proof of this. From an outsider’s perspective, the lives of these people should be full of misery and sadness. Constant working, corrupt government, little benefits, no luxuries, and poverty struggles. But the people of Vietnam choose to ignore the things they don’t have and instead focus on the things they do. The enjoyment of their craft, their love for the country, and the importance of family and ancestors.
I was amazed at the consistency in responses across the country to my question. They all seemed to appreciate whatever it is they were doing in life. My mini-survey was a friendly reminder about complaining in life. Life is all about perspective and what you make of it. Choose to see the bad and your life will feel as such. Focus on the good however, and you will learn to be content with whatever you have.
Special thanks to the people of Vietnam for welcoming everyone into their country in the way that you do!
Right on point! I couldn’t agree more on the 3 points you discussed in your article. One statement especially stood out to me “But the people of Vietnam choose to ignore the things they don’t have and instead focus on the things they do.”
This sentence is so important! Sometimes living in a westernized world I feel as if complaining about your problems has become a part of normal conversation. Looking forward to bringing more creativity in life by practicing solution oriented approach rather than a complain box!
Thanks Nishil, grateful to have friends like you in life whose perspective stretches far and beyond himself!
Thank you! appreciate the support. There’s always amazing things to learn from some of the people in these countries. Main reason I love traveling outside our borders!
Beautiful reminder that perspective changes everything
I am reading more blogs on Vietnam Since the time my trip to Vietnam got cancelled. Must be a coincidence. I wish I could explore Sa Pa and Mekong to meet such lovely people.
This article makes me laugh and smile: we are usually focus on the job and on the bustle and hustle of everyday life so we usually forget about all these principles. I would really like to visit Vietnam and come back to the origin of happiness and the importance of being ourselves. I think that all the things you have written made the Vietnamese people so proud of themselves and have so much to offer and to teach us.
This is such an inspirational and eye opener post. Always we take our life for granted and preaches about so many things, and then there are people who happily lives without being complained as like Vietnamese people. Glad to hear about your experiences. Travel teaches a lot if we look around.
Thank you for sharing with us how amazing to visit Vietnam. I do hope that I can visit this country after this pandemic. Vietnam is just 3-hours flight from Manila, maybe staying for a week will be nice.
It was very refreshing post and we can take so much from it and apply even during these times. You come first is so important. Honestly, we feel that why should we wasting out time on someone or something that does not mean anything for us but at the end of the day, a little thought for others takes humanity forward by leaps. It was good to learn about other two aspects as well. Its good to be happy, keep smiling and be simple.
People make a place and through this post, I can see why people love Vietnam. It is so lovely to see people being so receptive to you and actually going out of their way to welcome you. In fact, these incidents are your perfect memory of the place – one that you will treasure forever. Loving the whole bit of how they look forward rather than in the present..
Love to see how welcoming people of Vietnam are! I wish people across the globe would have been so welcoming. One of my girlfriends is Vietnamese American and her parents are from Hanoi. I always feel so glad to see their smiling faces and laughing and giggling without any reason!
I loved reading your experiences on how you were treated beautifully by Vietnamese people. It is always great to learn from some different culture and that is the true essence of travel. I loved the gesture of “You come first” as it is really a nice way to involve guests or strangers in our life with full respect.
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